Ideal Love Explaination

I wrote that poem, on a day when I felt happy for no reason.  I could feel that a love inside of me was still alive and had a desire to find the true partner I have dreamed about for so long.  I swore I could feel something, a connection with someone that I could not touch or even see.  I don't know what to think about it or call it, even define it as being.  I just know she is out their, I have wanted a chance to do something to prove myself to a woman that I can earn her love.  My ideal love would be a passion and a beauty that in my mind does exist, but is difficult to find because it is a journey we both must take, its not about how she looks as I find every women to be beautiful, I truly do.  It is something that we build together with the love we have, honestly and true.  That is hard to find, for most people do not have the time to put in the effort that you also put in, it has to be equal.  I have had many times I was so close but because of the past issues I have had with myself and my self-destructive behavior and belief that I was worthless for so long I could never get myself to a point where I could give the woman what she wanted.  As much as I loved them, cared for them, wanted the best for them, I just couldn't.  Now I know what I am and who I am, and what I can do.  What I can give, and in terms of talking to the women I do now I know I am ready but I am not looking for what they offer me, I spend time with them, talk, comfort and try my best to be their a a friend but I am still battling my inner demons, this poem was a passion I felt a long time ago that came back and folded myself again in a moment I never expected to come again.  Who I thought was my true love, and in some ways I still do believe, but different now because in order to believe that true love exists one must accept that, that love is better off without you and you still love them, truly being happy for their happiness as I have been.  Who am I to be a person to hold someone back from their happiness, I am not.  But I can still believe and see the world, experience things on my end and have amazing times in my future to build with incredibly beautiful women.  A friend I have become even more close with now I find myself drawn more to her and even if we where never to become an item we will go places and she will be with me when I experience the things I have wanted to do so I will not be alone, and it will be great to experience those things with someone as beautiful as her and share great memories and you never know what could happen, I have to find my other partners I have talked to and try to get them on a road of progress and be the friend I always said I wanted to be in life and do that not because I feel I have to, but because I want to.

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