I Did It So You Find (Poem)

I did it so you would find The words could never come. The moments never seemed real. It was confused for a dream that lived like a nightmare. The seconds turn hours into moments forgotten. I could not image not being able to explain. I see your face on every picture. Your smile every moment I close my eyes. I feel your presence every moment that pass by. Sometimes I think I see you and my heart sinks to dark abyss. My body turns cold and my soul adrift. This feeling so strange but a true feeling of being alive, That feeling of adrenaline but feeling of death inside, Still that feeling gone in heart beat broken in time. I do not know what words to say, as much as I try. Relating to words from songs like water runs dry. Its already spoken from words from past lives. This event I have is nothing compared to the rest of my life. Still I could not image not being able to explain. It is exciting every moment I get to see something that maybe, How possible it is, yet impossible it remains. I know it’s hard to understand. What I have is now, and what I see is there, what I want is gone and what I need is too far. I’m not good at this expression part anymore, But still I try, stay strong so this dream won’t die if I can keep it alive. What I did was for your best, I disappeared so you would find. I found there was no love that I had left inside, it’s sad that part died. Felt so useless and weak, but refused to admit defeat. I walked a path destine to test belief, and broke what I believed. The consequence’s now even more I can’t sleep. I can’t face the nightmare I caused from my own grief. But this is my world and this is my mind, and in turn I paid the price this time. I won’t try to describe or justify my lies, hiding behind my broken dreams and acting like it was fine. I won’t waste your time, the lives lived around me will grow and always shine, I stayed behind so that the truth you would find, The hardest part was seeing one string left and cutting the line If there was one last thing I could give, it would be to fade away There’s a whole world out there, just waiting for you to live

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